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Al Owne in the kitchen (03/21/2012)
By Al Owne
My kitchen blunder for this week involved cold cereal. I like sweet stuff; my pancreas doesnít. Rather than put fake sugar on my Cheerios, I get some sweet cereal and mix it in. Iíve found that some of the sweet stuff is lower in carbohydrates than plain. So Iím killing two birds with one stone. Mixing them can be a problem. I got a bright idea, which should have warned me that I was going to screw something up. I got a big mixing bowl, you know the pink one in the old set, put an newly opened box of cereal in each hand, one hand held Honey Nut Cheerios, the other regular Cheerios, and started pouring. Something distracted me and I looked away. Do you know that the pink bowl wonít hold two boxes of Cheerios? Cheerios were bouncing out of the bowl, hitting the counter, and flying. I donít know how you can stick to the five second rule when you have that many Cheerios on the floor. Iím the only one eating them so I guess it doesnít matter.

After my description of Army mess hall eggs last time, one of my friends asked if I disliked Army food. Iím sorry if I gave that impression, because I did like the military menus Ė most of the time. I yearn for S-O-S for breakfast sometimes. It was a breakfast that stuck to your ribsÖalong with other organs. I would tell you a funny story about S-O-S but I donít think this is the venue for it. I canít say I cared much for C-Rations, though. I spent six months eating C-Rations. When I see these ads for diets on the TV, I think someone should have a C-Ration diet. I lost 25 lbs. on my C-Ration diet.

My family seems to get along well these days. I think a big part of it is the great distance between members. One issue we donít agree on is dishwasher procedure. Most of us pretty much wash the dishes before placing them in the dishwasher. However, there are a few renegades who put dishes in with food scraps on them. One of those rebels visited me and actually put a dirty frying pan in the Maytag. When I saw what was happening, I jumped (slowly) from my chair to pull it out, but it was too late. When I chastised him, he said, ďHey, itís called a dishwasher; it washes dishes!Ē Where did I go wrong with this child?

When I complained about housework, I think he was the one who told me to hire someone to do it. I told him that I couldnít; it would take too long to clean up the house before the house cleaner came. He just doesnít understand, but then he lives in California.

Iím a weather pessimist. All this warm beautiful weather in mid-March scares me. Some of my neighbors are putting away their snow blowers. Last year I didnít put mine away until June. If you remember last winter, I think you can see my reasoning.



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