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  Sunday May 19th, 2013    

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Response to ‘Where are the parents?’ (04/08/2012)
From: Katy Anthony

In response to the letter to the editor addressing the problem with bullying in our community blaming parents, I would like to pose a thought. I am not a teacher, so I can’t claim expertise, but from what I know about bullying and kids who are bullied, I would guess the parents of bullies are not aware their children are “undisciplined abusers...brutal predators.” In fact, I would guess the parents of bullies are suprised to find out their kids ARE being bullies at any age. What parent really encourages or promotes that kind of caustic, evil mentality in their kids?? Does this condone the acts, no and never. Given that kids have a hard time reporting being bullied or even witness someone being bullied, I assume finding out if your child is a bully is even harder. Which makes me think back to the saying “it takes a community to raise a child.” Please remember the kids who often are bullies come from some kind of a difficulty themselves (beyond socioeconomic boundaries to be sure). Put yourselves in the shoes of a parent who finds out their child is a bully, and then think about all the things you wished the “community” around that child did to recognize or stop this before it became painfully real. I think to fully approach the issue of bullying (and remember this happens to adults in the work place too!), we all need to recognize and report bullying when it happens, but also remember that often someone who does the bullying has been bullied or abused at some point in their life. Not always physically, sometimes the past trauma is not visible on the surface. So if you are a parent, teacher, co-worker, manager, etc. and you find yourselves dealing with this situation, please fight the person who has been wronged, but also remember the person who did the wrong perhaps did not have someone to fight for them in the past. “Treating” bullying fully will take a compassionate, forgiving approach from the entire community. 

 

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