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Al Owne in the kitchen (08/15/2012)
By Al Owne
There are people who have various models for their cooking. It might be a mother or grandmother, or perhaps a chef like Julia, or Boy-R-Dee. Not me. No, I’ve decided that my model must be Crankshaft, the comic character. He has his explosions on the grill outside; I have mine in the kitchen. Where there’s smoke, there’s Al!

There was no fire this week, but I did finally tackle cleaning the stove. I thought maybe that would be a good idea after a visitor remarked, “Boy, that fish smells good.” I hadn’t had fish for a week. I had to use industrial strength degreaser and a lot of elbow grease to get the stove clean. I also had to clean every flat surface in a four foot radius. If it shines, clean it!

I started having “the talk” with some of my children last week. No, not that “the talk.” They’re in their fifties; if they haven’t had that “talk” yet, I think it’s too late. No, this was the one about all the stuff that’s stored around here, much of it belonging to them.

I told them there were two ways we could approach this. The best, I thought, was for everyone to cooperate with moving and cleaning. The other way, which I suspect is their favorite, is to wait until the last minute and throw it all in a dumpster. I said, “Frankly, I’ll probably be gone and won’t care one way or another, but from what I’ve been told it would be easier my way.” As a friend of mine once said, “I’ve never seen a U-Haul trailer on the back of a hearse!”

I have been doing a lot of cleaning and sorting myself. I’m not innocent in all of this, I understand. I found something the other day that made me break up in laughter. It was a Fuller Brush Co. bath brush. What was unique was the writing on the handle in magic marker: “This is a bath brush – Not a toilet brush!”

When we were first married, one of my house cleaning jobs was the bathroom. I was surprised when I saw that my wife had bought me a new toilet brush; one with an extra-long, soft brush. My wife wanted to make sure I didn’t use the replacement and all its descendants in the same way. What is the old adage? Live and be reminded, or something like that.

I saw the Google car with the 360 degree camera on it driving on the streets of Winona the other day. I hope they couldn’t see in my kitchen window. If you went to Google Maps in Winona, you’d probably see an icon of a fish over my house. I wonder if they have smell-a-vision in that unit.

I hope you voted in the recent election. I know it was a primary election, but I think we should use our voting privilege in every election. Just think of the people in the world who can’t. alnada2704@gmail.com 


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