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Blondes (02/17/2013)
By Frances Edstrom

Cassidy and Angie were in town to see me say my five lines in “Angels in the Trees.” Perhaps that seems a little egotistical, but that’s what got them here, and they were glad they came, as they enjoyed the production very much.

They brought 3-year-old Harry, for whom we needed a baby sitter, although he probably could survive by himself, being the mostly self-sufficient first-born that he is.

We called my friend Cynthia, who lives across the road from me, and she agreed to watch Harry. Her daughter, Jessie, who lives in the Twin Cities, sits for Harry on occasion in St. Paul, so we told him of the family connection.

“Is she funny?” he asked of Cynthia. I thought it was a rather odd question. So I asked, “Is Jessie funny?”

“No,” he said. “She’s gorgeous!”

Wow, I thought, they start younger and younger these days. I also wondered, for the one billionth time in my life, “What is it about blondes that always attracts members of the male sex?”

Jessie is a very attractive girl with long natural blonde hair. She’s very personable, intelligent, interesting and all, but that’s not what attracted Harry, it seems. He zeroed right in on the gorgeous aspect.

Blondes were the bane of my entire dating career. It may be news to some of you younger people that we actually saw men on a social basis way back when, but it’s true, we did. We did, that is, unless he was stolen away by some blonde.

Even if you aren’t really serious about a guy, it’s upsetting when he chooses someone else over you. I was dating a Saint Mary’s guy for a time when I was at Saint Teresa’s. He was a nice guy, fun to spend time with, but not the love of my life. Still, it hurt when I expected him to go to the winter dance with me, and he ditched me because his “girlfriend from home” was coming up from Chicago for the dance. He fully expected us to resume our dating after she (a blonde) left on the train after the weekend.

He had another think coming. I pondered my options for a short while, and decided on this: I called the most popular fraternity house at WSU, and explained to whoever answered the phone that I was ditched, and wanted to show the guy I was not going to take it lying down. So I wanted the most handsome member of the fraternity to go to the dance with me. I’d pay his ticket.

Sure, the guy said. So the night of the dance, I got ready, fully aware that I was taking a chance. I could get stood up and spend the night playing bridge in my formal. Or the frat guys could send a dud.

But that’s not what happened. The switchboard called up to tell me I had a visitor. I took a deep breath and went down to the lobby of the dorm, where there stood probably the most beautiful man I had ever seen in person. Tall, well-built, chiseled features, white teeth, great smile, sparkling blue eyes. A blond.

Whoa, I thought. It’s not just guys who think blondes are gorgeous. What do they have that redheads don’t? The only answer I can come up with is…blonde hair. Some battles are not meant to be won.



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