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Al Owne in the kitchen (07/14/2013)
By Al Owne
I had an interesting adventure in the kitchen recently without burning myself or anything else. Have you ever used re-fried beans? There was a can of re-fried beans in the kitchen pantry so they couldnít have been too old. Actually Iíve been told it wouldnít matter a whole lot because they have a half-life of two centuries. I looked at the ďuse byĒ date and it was in this decade so I decided to use them.

I had heard of them, but had no idea what they were or how they were used. First of all I never heard of anyone frying beans let alone frying them twice. I got out my small slow cooker, put in a can of Hormel chili then opened the re-fried beans and tried to dump them in. They were the consistency of nearly dry concrete and they came out of the can in one brown blob. Of course the beans changed the atomic structure of the chili. It, too, now was pretty thick.

My idea was to whip up something Mexican, and I did, only it looked like it had originated in the fiery bowels of Popocatepetl and erupted, frightening the villagers.

I turned to my red recipe rescuer, tomato juice, and added about a pint. That made my mixture look somewhat edible. I checked the freezer to see if there was some protein I could add and found a package of little cocktail wieners I had bought in a moment of nostalgia.

I let it simmer all afternoon, not knowing what else to do with it. I thought I would try it for supper. It wasnít as bad as it sounds but I didnít think my digestive system could take it straight so I made some pasta and used my re-fried bean chili as the sauce. Since then, Iíve used it with rice too, but I still have a half slow cooker full in the refrigerator waiting for a new idea. How do I get myself in these kitchen messes?

Iím going to have to get the ironing board out. Some of the new clothes I bought need to be pressed. I keep taking them out of the wash and hanging them in the spare bedroom waiting to be ironed. Ironing isnít a big deal to me; Iíve done some and never thought it was too tough. I used to own a few dress shirts with that telltale brown triangle on the back, but with the new steam irons that isnít so much of a problem. Weíll see.

Now that the 4th of July is past, my dog Sparky and I can crawl out from under the bed. I donít think we have any celebratory holidays coming up until Veterans Day. I get less interested in holidays each year older I get. I like regular days when the papers and mail come at the appointed time and Iím not expected to do anything. I could get a job at Disney World as ďGrumpy.Ē

Iíll end this with one of my favorite sayings: ďWeíre all in this together.Ē The Canadian comedian Red Greene used to end his shows with that gem and I think itís good. We all have problems and happiness and we should look out for each other. I know heís not a philosopher, but I think heís got it right.

Email me at alnada2407@mail.com .



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