I was driving out of town the other day with the radio on an “Oldies” station when I heard the vocal song “Lonely.” Boy, I listened to the words for once and thought, “That’s me.” Of course the song was written as a love song with someone lamenting a failed romance while I was using the words to describe my situation.
I’ve accepted my widower- hood as a fact of life. I had an un-widowed person ask me recently if I was mad about my wife’s passing. I told him I was more sad than mad. I was sad that she has missed a number of family milestones. Anyway who would I be mad at? Well, I am mad at cancer and our inability to find a cure for it, but otherwise I have no reason for anger. It isn’t that I don’t have anger in my arsenal of emotions; it’s just that I can’t see anyone to be angry with.
My grocery shopping problems have gone from buying the wrong things to buying too much or too many of the right things. I inherited a “stock up” shopping mentality from my late wife, but when it’s only for one person, sometimes stocking up is wasteful. I somehow strayed from using lists for grocery shopping and that’s dangerous. I buy two or three of something, bring it home, and when I go to put it on the shelf, there are already two or three there. I guess I’ll have to start looking to see what I need, make a list, then shop.
The same problem is happening in the kitchen. I’m getting pretty good at fixing meals, but I fix too much. Then I say, “I don’t want to eat that again,” and shove it back in the refrigerator and forget it until green mold forms. The other day I almost wore out the garbage disposal cleaning out the refrigerator.
All of these problems are dilemmas for single people, especially those who find themselves surprisingly single after long years marriage. Portions and recipes are not made for one person. A can of spaghetti sauce is too much for one person for one meal. I have to not to use a portion of the can and put the rest in the refrigerator. (See the above comment about the disposal.) I’m forced to make a big batch of sauce and store it in the freezer and end up saying, “I wonder what this red stuff covered with ice coating is or was?”
Have you ever taken a Social Security test; have you ever heard of a Social Security test? I recently made a large purchase with a check and the salesperson asked to see my drivers’ license. I pulled out my billfold and…no drivers’ license! Fortunately I knew my Social Security number. So I gave the salesperson, a pleasant young lady, the number and she disappeared into the inner offices for a short time returning with a confused look on her face. She told me that my Social Security account had been accessed at one time and she would have to give me this little four question test to make sure I was me, and this big check didn’t bounce and get her in trouble. The questions were names of streets that I may have lived on and names of people I might have lived with. This was my whole life and I think I got my SSN when I was 12 years old. That was a new one on me and I’m 80+. I passed and everything was kind of OK. When I got home, my DL was in a shoe by the tall dresser; it had fallen out at home. Phew!
Remember, we’re all in this together, folks. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.