From: T.M. Schoewe
The proper behavior in marriage has to be learned, and needs to be appreciated. Married couples might think their behavior toward one another should be identical. This is not exactly true. And this is why the Lord God gives some different instructions to the husband and the wife in the Scriptures. Women may think that the man craves love above all things. But really this is not the main thing. Women need to learn the great secret of the man is his need of RESPECT!
Love is great BUT respect is like oxygen for a man’s spirit. Some may say that is no big deal, except when they are not getting any. It is true that men usually have bigger bodies; most of the time a man is physically stronger than his wife. But it is also true that every lady can cut her man down to the ground with just a few words. A woman can make a man feel small and stupid with just words. A woman needs to learn and know that her man needs to grow into what God wants him to be, namely a leader. The Lord wants him to grow in His plan as the leader in the home. So the old apostle Paul says in the book of Ephesians, “The wife must respect her husband!”
Would you like your man to provide, to lead, and take responsibility? Then know and learn that the way you talk will help put in place those qualities. It will help establish the kind of environment where he will lead in the way God intended. Belittling him or being sarcastic will crush a man’s spirit. A man can not lead unless the lady is willing to follow. If you make a man feel little he will find excuses to stay away. But a man who feels like a king in his home will always hurry home to take care and provide and protect his queen and his family.
Most people know about being chewed out. Such abuse starts early. Every school kid knows what it is like to be picked on or to be talked about because of his or her dress or shoes, or grades, or even one’s speech. And where do children go when they have been made to feel worthless, ugly or stupid? The answer in mother! Mothers with simple words and hugs have the power to restore their children’s needs. And even if children think the whole world is against them, mothers who always love their children, and are proud of them have the restorative power to make them feel they are important and that they are SOMEBODY! The mother of the great King David, poet, warrior, and shepherd, enjoyed thinking about his God and His peace, and the simple but great serenity of a small child with his mother. Read Psalm 131:2.
Mothers listen! It is you who make God our Lord believable. It is you who make the Lord Jesus REAL to your children! And it is when you do this, especially when they are young, that they will learn about real love (love that is unconditional) and forgiveness and a feeling of self worth. Learning it from you, they discover it is believable, that the Lord loves them the same way as you love them, but even more.
Final thought. Flipping through magazines and periodicals you might feel embarrassed. But flipping through the Bible you will find “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” Proverbs 31:30. Actually, too, as you flip through the pages of your life you will see this to be true as well. There are a whole lot of virtues in chapter 31 of Proverbs which are not meant to scare women but to wake up husbands and children to notice your worth and cherish your faith. They should make us all say, “mother we all think you are awesome.”