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  Wednesday January 28th, 2015    

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It’s all in my head! (02/27/2005)
By Janet Lewis Burns

It's all I can think about! It's all I can do to keep from rolling down store aisles in uncontrollable laughter. In fact, "it's all" a lot of things, in conversation. I started thinking of all the "it's alls" and the list rambled on into tomorrow. It's all so overwhelming!

It's all my cup of tea, however. I like to write randomly, to stray from the beaten path, to take the long way home. It's all a matter of one train of thought railroading another. It's all too predictable that some readers just won't be able to move beyond the tenth "it's all." Mindless prattle - it's all in the pen of the eccentric.

I'm tempted to tackle the "what ifs" next - but it's all so mind-boggling.

"It's all like yah man, you know what I mean, huh?" It's deplorable how our speech has deteriorated. It's all enough to make Webster turn over in his grave, ya know! I mean, it's all e-mail, the Internet, wireless, unplugged, and chat rooms - oops!

It's all so understandable that our mothers were often so "all in," in the days before our present state of the art, push-button, time-controlled conveniences. It's all so Emeril live, Peachtree software, ziplock, and self-something or another. It's all Swiffer, flush away, and spray the odor into another dimension.

After the "I do," it's all ball-and-chain. "But, it's all in the game, all in the wonderful game that we know as LOVE." Those lines, from the teeny boppin' 50s, were sung by Frankie Avalon to Sandra Dee (or was it Connie Frances to Paul Anka?) It's all so foggy, rehashing old stuff like that.

It's all so intense, school sports competitions and rivalries. For some coaches and athletics directors, it's all about win! win! win! Something's amiss when the same dedicated players find themselves as bench-warmers game after game. It's all so jock-friendly!

A doctor story here seem as inappropriate as any. It's all about my ongoing back problems. I saw three Mayo specialists, with no answers, and a resorting to pain medications (which they proclaimed I could take only temporarily). It's all so disgusting.

What was I supposed to do after that...play dead for the remainder of my sedentary existence? It's all so surreal! The doc in "pain management" actually said, "You shouldn't be in that kind of pain!" Oh, it's all in my head! Off I go to physical therapy again. It's all so discouraging.

Then along came Lisa! I now name Lisa Nutter, at the Lewiston Clinic, as my primary doctor, aside from my neurologist at Mayo. Lisa is so thorough. It's all so assuring. She takes special interest in each of her patients. It's all in her bedside manner.

It's all in the family, in the DNA, the personality traits. Depending on what you mean by the word "its," we do inherit family illnesses and quirks. It's all in the cards - if your Uncle Harry, twice removed, on your mother's side, has a debilitating necktie fetish, it is remotely possible that your firstborn son may have the exact propensity.

Is "dah" the same as "no brainer?" It's all about family foibles that seem to pollute recollections forever. It's all so like me - cockeyed logic. The kids' families were over for hamburgers on the grill. As I hurried to make the patties, Pat informed me that Kelly wanted a small one. I asked how we would know which one was hers. Airhead!

It's all so degrading, I'm going to close with something intelligent...which I didn't say first, but wish I had:

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." It's all so Abe Lincoln!

Now, if it's all the same with you, it's all she wrote. 


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